The following is an excerpt from our March issue:

By: Nicholas Carraway

For those of you who do not know Nicholas Carraway (I assume everyone does), he has spent the better part of the last twenty years traveling the country in a renovated R.V., working as a freelance reporter for a number of wonderful publications. His recent kick has been one-on-one interviews. Mr. Carraway has agreed to send the Main Street Journal his notes. Since he does not believe in the use of computers, the notes come in a large Federal Express envelope and are usually jumbled. The quotes you find in this article are mostly accurate; however, the questions may be somewhat out of place. This interview took place with former Vice President and Oscar Award Winner Al Gore Jr. at the plush Mondrian Hotel on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, California.

NC Mr. Gore, it is an honor to sit down with you again.

AG Please Nicholas, just call me Al – Al Gore. I used to be the next president of the United States of America.

NC Yes, I have heard you say that before. Actually, we have all heard you say that before.

AG (laughing) Those were the good ol’ days, weren’t they Nicholas?

NC If you say so. We are here to talk about the Oscars though. Did you ever imagine you would one day win an Oscar?

AG You know, after inventing something as monumental as the Internet, I really had to sit back and reassess my life and ask myself a very important question – what could possibly top this? And you know, making a movie and winning an Oscar was the only logical answer I could come up with.

NC So you knew you would one day win an Oscar? Even back in the White House?

AG Of course, of course. You know Nicholas; I helped invent the Oscars.

NC Alright Mr. Vice President, lets try and stay on track here. How does it feel to be an Oscar winner?

AG Well, you know, I would really like to take this opportunity right here and now to formally announce my intentions . . . (looking around)

NC (sliding to the edge of his seat) Yes, to formally announce what?

AG I would like to formally announce my intentions . . . to . . . to order a Red Bull. Have you ever had a Red Bull Nicholas? They are truly invigorating.

NC (sliding back in his seat while Al Gore orders a Red Bull)

AG Actually, to be honest, I would like to take one moment to deliver a message to the people of the world.

NC Of course Mr. Vice President. Though I am not sure all the people of the world will be reading this interview.

AG People of the world! I hope the decision by the Academy to honor An Inconvenient Truth, as well as my stirring lead performance, will steer us all toward a solution to the climate crisis. It is not a political issue; it is not a moral issue. People of the world, we have everything we need to get started with the possible will to act. That is a renewable resource. Let us renew it!

NC Well said Mr. Vice President, well said.

AG (sitting back, sipping on his Red Bull through a straw)

NC So what is next for you? I mean, you have conquered Washington. You have conquered Hollywood. Have you given any thought to your next project?

AG (pulling out a pair of wrap-around sunglasses) Nicholas, I like it out here. As a matter of fact, my agent and I are right now reading through scripts.

NC Is that so?

AG Yes. I am actually interested in doing a buddy-cop movie with Vin Diesel. Kind of an action-adventure-spy-thriller.

NC Sounds complex.

AG Not really. Basically we just blow a lot of things apart.

NC I see. And you have no intention of running again for President?

AG (leaning back and laughing) Are you kidding? I had drinks last night with Jack Nicholson and Mandy Moore.

NC I will take that as a no.

AG Jack Nicholson! Mandy Moore! I am never leaving this place.

NC You will be missed Mr. Vice President.

AG Don’t worry, you will see plenty of me Nicholas. Next year, I am aiming for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor.

NC You ambition and delusion never cease to amaze. We will be watching.